10 Dating Safety Tips For Online And Off

Still looking for a special someone? Just be sure to keep yourself safe. Here are ten ways to find love for your heart but keep your personal protection on your mind.

1. Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by communicating solely by email, then look for odd behavior or inconsistencies. The person at the other end may not be who or what he says he is. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your safety and protection.

2. Make sure all contact on a member site takes place through a double-blind system, ensuring your true identity is protected until you decide to reveal it. Never include your last name, home address, phone number, place of employment, email address or any other identifying information in your profile or initial messages. When corresponding with someone, turn off your email signature file. Stop communicating with anyone who puts pressure on you for personal information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.

3. Cautious decisions will result in a better dating experience. Be sure to protect yourself against trusting the untrustworthy; potential boyfriends must earn your trust gradually over time, through consistently honorable, straightforward behavior. Take all the time you need to investigate for a straightforward person and pay careful attention along the way. If you suspect someone is lying, he probably is, so act accordingly. Be responsible about romance, your heart will thank you. Don’t become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online. If you mutually decide to cross the point of no return, be smart and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (http://www.cdc.gov/ ) provide some of the most current information available about sexually transmitted diseases and preserving your health.

4. Most online dating services do not require members to submit to background checks. So make sure you get as much info as possible by asking questions, utilizing internet search engines and most importantly, using common sense. Nothing is 100% reliable, just remember to use your head…not just your heart.

5. A photo will give you a good idea of the person’s appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact, it’s best to view several images of someone in various settings: casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If all you hear are excuses about why you can’t see a photo, consider that he has something to hide.

6. A phone call can reveal much about a person’s communication and social skills. Consider your security and do not reveal your phone number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead or use local telephone blocking techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing on a Caller ID. Give out your phone number ONLY when you feel completely comfortable.

7. The beauty of meeting someone online is that you can collect information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline world. You never are obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level on online intimacy. And even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It’s possible that your decision to keep the relationship anonymous is based on a hunch that you can’t logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts

8. Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following behavior without providing an acceptable explanation: Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc. Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy. Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions. Appears significantly different in person from his or her online persona. Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.

9. When you choose to meet offline, always tell friends where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number with a friend. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time with many people around (a familiar restaurant or coffee house is often a good choice), and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. Refrain from drinking excessively, as it could weaken your ability to make good decisions. If at some point you and your date decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is right thank your date for getting together and say goodbye

10. If you plan to fly in from another city, arrange for your own car and hotel room. Do not make known the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make arrangements for you. Get a rental car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel. Always call your date from the hotel. You can also check out the location you both agreed to meet at ahead of time to see exactly where it is and to get more familiar with an area . If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date at that location or leave a message on an answering machine. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. And carry a cell phone at all times.

Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in danger, call the police; it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior; your safety is much more important than one person’s opinion of you.

While cheaters, liars and frauds certainly can be very convincing on the Web, you’ll also find them in nightclubs and offline dating services, parties or even sitting across from you at your local coffee house. Despite where you meet someone, dating is never risk-free, but a little caution will reduce your risk to your safety when trying to find that certain someone for your heart.

The Metaphysical View of Death and Life After Death Part 8

In the Chonyid one has to exercise Vairagya and Viveka, or detachment and discrimination--detachment as to what is seen, and discrimination as to what is real and unreal in the unfolding panorama. One has to overcome one's attraction to the images of beauty in this first Chonyid stage as well as to overcome one's repulsion to wrathful and awesome images in the following Chonyid phase. One has to embrace every appearance as a reflection of one's own pure primordial nature. Forms should be seen as illusory, their inner essence, however, should be realized as the essence of Reality. Tsele Rangorol explains it in this way:

"The key point in the Bardo of dharmata is simply to rest in awareness, no matter what happens, and to be able to embrace everything with the mindfulness of awareness-wisdom, without losing the continuity of that awareness." (1993:7)

Aside from psychic images that one perceives in the Chonyid, one may also see coloured-lights, either bright and dazzling or dull. The bright coloured-lights originate from the five "Dhyani Buddhas" of the spiritual planes, whereas the dull coloured-lights emanate from the 6 lower realms of becoming. Like the psychic images that one may see in the Chonyid, the coloured-lights are also a manifestation of one's mind. Their appearance may continue all the way through Sidpa bardo. In the following we list the realms with their associated coloured-lights together with the Dhyani Buddhas and their corresponding colour rays:

[Note: The table may be seen as originally published at our website]

Generally speaking, one has to distance oneself and not be attracted to the dull lights as they lead one to a rebirth in a lower world. Conversely, bright coloured-lights lead us to a more fortunate rebirth in the spiritual worlds. When encountered, therefore, one has to abide in the dazzling coloured-lights and allow them to guide one to a higher state. Detlef Lauf in the Secret Doctrines of the Book of the Dead, tells us what would occur if we were to be attracted to dull lights:

"If thou art frightened by the pure radiances of Wisdom and attracted by the impure lights of the 6 lokas, then thou will assume a body in any of the 6 Lokas and suffer sangsaric miseries . . ." (1989:125)


Chonyid Bardo, Second Stage

This stage is a continuation of the previous stage. Should the awareness-principle still be unliberated from the bardo in the previous experience, this stage dawns to reflect the darker side of one's psyche for immediate reaction--or response. When the images of one's spiritual aspect exhausts itself from one's psyche, what remains are the negative side with images called by Tibetan teachings "the 58 wrathful deities." Like the images of the peaceful deities, these wrathful images are mere illusions, thoughtforms, hallucinations, or mirages. They are simply projections of one's negative thoughts, feelings and karmic stains. It is therefore imperative that the soul grasp the true nature of these images and not be repulsed, frightened or alarmed by them. Nothing can hurt one's primordial nature, one's Divine Self--"the Real cannot be threatened"--and this is a lesson that one has to learn even now while incarnated in the physical form. A calm abiding in one's pure awareness without any dualistic thought of "I" and "thou" or any sense of separation should be cultivated and maintained. There should only be a feeling of unity, of oneness, of integration with All That Is, which is one's Divine Self. Understandably, such an awareness may not come automatically while one is facing terrifying images. It is for this reason that there should be a reasonable amount of spiritual practice while one is still yet alive on the physical plane. Referring to the images perceived in the bardo and a possible emancipation through right understanding and awareness as well as the result of wrong apprehension, Detlef Lauf comments:

"If all the temptations of deceptive visionary images, which are continually referred to in the texts [Bardo Thodol] as hostile forms of the intellect, can be recognized as empty creations of one's mind and can be immediately penetrated, one will attain liberation. These images dissolve away and the awareness reaches the peaceful and imageless release of nirvana. Every fleeing from these fearsome and terrifying bardo images and every feeling of being seduced by certain colours and visionary apparitions is a step into the ambivalence of the feelings of hatred and desire and is attachment to the opposites of divine consciousness. It is therefore a step back into ignorance, for the antagonistic forces of desire and aversion prevent salvation and unity of awareness in the state of liberation." (1989:69)

One of the reasons that one slips into this bardo from the former stage is that the anxiety, and the terror engendered by the fear of the unknown, and augmented by the appearance of holy images which often stimulates guilt feelings, causes the awareness-principle to evoke the negative side of its subconscious content, thus resulting in the appearance of wrathful images. What one experiences in the bardo is the direct result of one's karma and the nature of one's psyche, whether it be spiritual or carnal. The images of peaceful or terrifying deities, or other frightening forms are there to purify the awareness of ignorance and to offer an opportunity for the awareness-principle to grasp their inner nature. Should the soul react negatively to these images, it passes on to the next bardo. A positive response offers release. One's negative reaction is due to one's karma and lack of spiritual unfoldment.

Should one fail to gain liberation in the Chikai or in the former stage of Chonyid because of one's negative karma and negative mental and emotional traits, there is still hope to liberate oneself at this stage; not from samsara, however, but from rebirth in one of the lower planes of the six worlds. Liberation at this stage also emancipates the awareness-principle from having to undergo the "Judgment" in Sidpa bardo. A soul gains liberation, totally or partially, at whatever stage his karma allows. As said before, preparation beforehand through spiritual practices is an indispensable task to be undertaken by those seeking a better soul-life. Chokyi Nyima, the author of The Bardo Guidebook, advises this succinctly:

"The Buddhas very kindly gave many teachings and methods of practicing, but all these different systems converge at one point: right now, while you are alive, get used to the non-conceptual wakefulness called luminous dharmata, the state free from concepts, beyond a meditation of mental fabrication . . . Accustom yourself to non-conceptual wakefulness now so at the time of death you will not have to go through the remaining bardos [Chonyid and Sidpa] to a new rebirth. Resting in non-conceptual wakefulness is enough to cover all aspects of practice . . . " (1991:137)

In Chonyid bardo one's psychic senses are enhanced, and one acquires a certain degree of clairvoyance. The pilgrim of the bardo is somewhat aware at this stage of the surroundings related to its physical form and its newly-terminated incarnated life. The soul may hear and see its relatives and friends grieving and lamenting, but they do not perceive the astral form of its awareness-principle. The awareness-principle may or may not realize at this stage that it has permanently severed connections with its physical form. The incapability of offering comfort and solace to beloved ones at this point frustrates the soul. Bombarded by frightening sounds and coloured-lights likewise make this an exhausting period for the soul.


Sidpa Bardo, First Stage

Here, in Sidpa bardo, the lights, sounds, and images assume a sight more ghastly than the previous bardo. The psychic motion within one's consciousness is intensified to the utmost degree and it projects out with a centrifugal force all of one's inner negative qualities that takes on forms that corresponds to those qualities. It is in this bardo that one's negative karmic deeds play strongly upon one's conscience. In Sidpa, the feelings of guilt, of hatreds, greed, anger and other egoic expressions seemingly assume terrifying phantasms--demon-like, to torture one's consciousness of all of the misqualifications of one's personal energy. As the peaceful deities are said to emanate from the heart-center, so the terrifying images that one experiences in the bardo are said to emanate from the head-centers. One's main objective and natural inclination at this state as in previous ones, is to escape, to flee from these frightening, awesome and gruesome images. This is a mistake of the dualistic mind, however, that requires a reiterated warning: all that is experienced in the bardo are mental projections, and are, therefore, unreal. The bardo experience is subjective and is but a mental journey with an alchemical purpose. To acknowledge mental projections as real and to be deluded by them causes the awareness-principle to further entrap itself in the snare of Maya. This is spiritual death to the consciousness which is referred to by the Piscean Master when he advised his disciples to "let the dead bury the dead."

Should one by any chance, however slim, attain a partial liberation in the Sidpa, one obtains the Nirmanakaya--a pure emanation of the Dharmakaya, the Monad. Eventhough with this attainment, the awareness-principle is still subjected to the wheel of birth and rebirth. However, the next birth may be in more fortunate circumstances and surroundings, conducive to spiritual growth, unfoldment and awakening.

We should reiterate here that the Bardo, not being a place or a realm, but an inner experience, is different for every soul making its transition. Every form, image, figure, or symbol making an appearance on the screen of consciousness simply reflects one's own subconscious content. They are one's personal conscious and subconscious fantasy assuming a virtual reality. All of the forms that appear corresponds to one's sublime or carnal thoughts, feelings, passions and impulses. One's habitual pattern of thoughts and feelings are the most potent in expressing themselves in the bardo. The average soul may succumb in a negative way to these protean forms and changing scenes, the spiritually inclined would, however, transform these images into more pleasant ones with the power of thought. Recognizing the underlying reality of the bardo forms, one may go through it quickly. Amidst the dark thought-forms of Sidpa bardo, there still lurks the Clear Light of the Void. Therefore, reaching out to the greatest light perceivable hidden in and around the monstrous forms one may discover a "saviour" that leads one away from experiencing the Judgment in the latter half of the Sidpa bardo.

At every stage masterful beings watch intently the souls experiencing the bardo--to give subtle aid when necessary, or when a plea for help is made. The nature of that aid is dependent upon the soul's own personal karma. Such saviours when recognized amidst the psychedelic and surrealistic images will free one from further doings in the bardo.

Sidpa bardo is often called the "bardo of becoming," because at this stage it is almost certain that one would be reborn in one of the 6 realms, in one of the phenomenal world of change. In Sidpa the awareness-principle is made aware through certain signs and indications that it is deceased. With such an awareness it may desire to be quickly reborn; it does so by seeking the lights emanating from the human realm--as though drawn to it. These lights play upon the psychic senses, swirling and twirling together as though a human couple were in the act of copulation. Other lights from the other lower realms also play about in one's vision. The light that the soul is attracted to and merges with determines the realm of its rebirth. This may occur before or after the judgment--normally after.


Sidpa Bardo, Second Stage

One now comes to the Judgment with which almost all religions teach. After undergoing the previous bardos without being released from it, the soul, the awareness-principle, hallucinates a judgment scene. In this judgment, all of the actors--the judge, the prosecutor, the defender, the scribe and others--are all aspects of one's being participating in a drama that directs the attention of the soul to all of its misdeeds in thought, words, and action--whether of omission or commission--in the physical life that it had just passed. It is a period of soul-review, reflection, introspection and self-examination. Regarding this soul-review, Helena Blavatsky, the co-founder of the Theosophical Society remarks:

"At the solemn moment of death every man, even when death is sudden, sees the whole of his past life marshalled before him, in its minutest details. For one short instant the person becomes one with the individual and all knowing Ego. But this instant is enough to show him the whole chain of causes which have been at work during his life. He sees and now understands himself as he is, unadorned by flattery or self-deception. He reads his life, remaining as a spectator looking down into the arena he is quitting; he feels and knows the justice of all the sufferings that has overtaken him." (cf Cosmos in Man 1983:180)

In this judgment one's past life is relived and viewed as though one were watching a movie. One is enforced here to realize the significance of one's misdeeds and made aware of one's error. Every misdeed the soul has to account for, and motives are scrutinized by one's conscience represented by Dharmaraja, the Judge, literally, "king of the law." This is the event where the saying "God is not mocked," is seen explicitly. All of the persons that the soul had harmed or done wrong in any way, seemingly appear to accuse the soul of its violation of truth and righteousness. Their sufferings and pain are somewhat felt by the soul being judged, that it may acquire an understanding of the effect of its evil actions. One's reaction here may determine one's "placement" in the subtle realms, whether it be in one of the hell regions or in purgatory. Should the soul be filled with remorse and shame, acknowledge its error, sincerely repent and ask forgiveness, it may be granted a reprieve and sent to the purgatorial worlds; otherwise, if it is filled with hate and anger for God and man and hardens its heart, it would be isolated in hell where it has illusory visions of being tortured by demons, or even literally feel the effects of the flames. This punishment in reality is self-imposed, for none condemns the soul but its own self. The low vibrations that it generates with its negative feelings simply anchors it down to the mire of the astral worlds.

The results of one's judgment are recorded in the seed-atoms and in the subconsciousness of the soul, and this has a great influence upon its subsequent lives in the physical plane; and while still imprinted fresh in its mind in the subtle realms, it provides food for thought and consideration which may evolve into a conscience of a higher standard. In the judgment of Sidpa the soul sees itself for what it really is and not what it believes itself to be or what others believe itself to be.

Copyright © 2006 Luxamore

The Metaphysical View of Death and Life After Death Part 5

When the time for transition has come to the incarnated soul--the exact moment of which is determined and initiated by the Higher Self--the physical seed-atom which contains the soul-plan of the Higher Self, releases certain information to the endocrine glands via the blood stream to stimulate the death process. The glands then secrete certain substances that Earlyne Chaney calls the "death hormone." This hormone then circulates around the physical system releasing the immaterial aspect from the physical. The mental, astral and etheric bodies dissociate themselves from the physical body, followed by the seed-atoms. The first to be affected and released is the mental seed-atom. As it leaves the physical body, the mental records of the soul and consciousness goes along with it. This is in fact the commencement of the bardo, of which no soul can avoid experiencing, even in a sudden impact of death.

Once the mental seed-atom escapes from the physical system, the physical body falls into a coma. Although the physical body still reacts to external stimuli, there is no registration in the consciousness of the soul through the brain. Next to be liberated from the physical body is the astral seed-atom. With the absence of the astral seed-atom, the physical body lies inert and senseless. The departure of the physical seed-atom marks the beginning of clinical death. Its disappearance from the physical body causes the dissolution and disintegration of the physical form. In the above process no pain is involved, for the absence of the mental seed-atom prevents any sensation to be noted in the consciousness. Also, the "death hormone" anesthetizes the whole physical system. Any death struggle or spasms to be seen in the dying merely reflects the release of the components of the soul and the physical body's straining to prevent its departure. As a person is about to leave the physical, the astral body increases in luminosity, even in the case of sudden deaths.

All of the seed-atoms as they leave the physical body, are transferred to the astral form. With the transference of the mental seed-atom, the consciousness of the soul gradually awakens in the astral state and experiences the bardo. Once the bardo is undergone, the soul, the awareness-principle in average cases, is greeted by advance beings and earth-relatives who have prepared beforehand for the arrival of the soul. This we know personally having had psychic contacts when our dad was undergoing the dying process. The dying are often instilled peace with the help of music played by the disembodied spirits.

The departure of every soul from the physical plane is known by spiritual beings, and preparation is always made for their reception in the astral world. Even while journeying in the bardo the soul is often aided by spiritual guides. Divine guides in the higher planes helping the newly dead is a common belief among ancient Egyptians.

When the physical seed-atom leaves the physical form and transfers itself to the astral body, the sutratma, the silver cord, snaps and recoils to the physical form where it infuses itself into the bones of the body. Imbued with the qualities or magnetism of the personality of the soul, the sutratma, as it recoils to the bones, impregnates the skeletal structure with the vibrations of the soul. The bones, therefore, acquire a magical quality, especially if the departed soul was a mystic or saint of a high caliber. This occult principle is well known among shamans of various cultures who often utilize bones of revered men as implements as ceremonial magicians would use their consecrated wands as tools of their will. We personally possess such a magickal object, a very ancient trisula, part of which is made by a human bone.

During the above process of soul-transference, or transition, the awareness-principle undergoes the bardo, as we have said before. Since we will be considering the bardo at some length in a later section of this paper, we will now deal, instead, with the nature of the after-death state.

Once soul-transference has been completed and the bardo experienced, the astral form drifts to the realm or region in the astral or mental world where it will sojourn for a time. The etheric body, is however, still connected with the physical form through a remnant of the sutratma. It dissolves simultaneously with the physical body. With the absence of the higher principles, the etheric body, like the physical form, is but an empty shell, and it may somehow be galvanized into some resemblance of life by astral entities using the life-force borrowed from incarnated beings. Some forms of vampirism is also related to the etheric body. Corpses remaining fresh in their graves is the result of a vital etheric body animated by some intelligence maintaining subsistence through the act of vampirism.

Possessing some psychological traits and memory of its former occupant, the etheric form is often used by malicious entities to deceive and mislead living relatives and persons through channels, psychics and mediums. It is for this reason that cremation, from the occult point of view, is often seen as a spiritual necessity and a psychically sanitary method for disposing physical remains. It prevents the occurrence of negative phenomena such as obsession and possession. In burial grounds, the etheric body may often be seen as bluish lights hovering buried bodies; these are often mistaken for ghosts or human spirits--the correct term for these are phantoms.

In ancient Egypt, the desire for preserving the etheric body may underlie the practice of mummification. Like the bones of a deceased person, the etheric body is also often used for occult and magical purposes--usually necromancy or sciomancy, which are forms of divination. This is usually done with the use of the shedding of blood where it attracts the shades, the etheric forms of the dead used not by its former occupant, but by elemental or elementary spirits. Blood, as a medium of the life-force, is an energy source sought after by malicious or mischievous spirits. With the presence of blood such spirits find it possible to be fully aware of the physical plane and materialize and converse with material beings; and also possible to satisfy certain base desires.

We mentioned before that the soul, the awareness-principle, gravitates to the realm most suited for it in terms of vibration. Mercy does not automatically lead a soul to heaven. A soul's personality determines where it would go. If the nature of the soul is of a low type, it will find itself in one of the lower astral regions which corresponds to the religious concept of hell. High-natured souls will be drawn to the high astral worlds or to the mental mansions. Swedenborg speaks of this in his book, "Heaven and Hell":

"It ought to be clearly understood that with the angels [souls] it is their interiors which cause them to be in one heaven or another. For, the more their interiors are open towards the Lord, the more interior is the heaven in which they are." (1958:16)

Here Swedenborg says that souls enter the type of heaven that corresponds with the quality of the inner heaven within them. This spiritual principle is a known law among occultists. Cornelius Agrippa in the Three Books of Occult Philosophy, has this to say about the reward of lofty souls:

"But the spirit of man, which is of a sacred nature, and divine offspring, because it is always faultless, becomes incapable of any punishment; but the soul of it hath done well, rejoiceth together with the spirit, and going forth with its aerial chariot [astral body], passeth freely to the graves of the heroes, or reacheth heaven, where it enjoys all its senses, and powers, a perpetual blessed felicity, a perfect knowledge of all things, as also the divine vision, and possession of the kingdom of heaven, and being made partaker of the divine power bestows freely divers gifts upon these inferiors, as if it were an immortal god . . ." (1995:594)

He goes on to say that the soul of a negative nature is left to the pleasure of the "devil":

"Wherefore then this soul being void of an intelligible essence and being left to the power of a furious planetary, is ever subjected by the torment of corporeal qualities." (1995:594)

Agrippa alludes here to hell or purgatory. Should there be coarse material in the astral form as a result of negative habits, negative patterns of thoughts and desires, the soul sojourns temporarily in purgatory before transmigrating to its rightful place in the heavenly regions. Purgatory is a transitional plane of human souls of various natures and types; for instance, there are those bound there because of their unrealistic religious concepts, and they linger in purgatory until they accept the truth concerning the spiritual laws governing the higher spheres. There are those also stuck in purgatory until certain habits or desires are overcome. Atheists and intellectuals likewise find themselves in purgatory for a time. Attachment to earthly wealth, position, and power may also be a cause of bondage to purgatory.

In purgatory the soul strives to rid itself of its moral, mental and emotional defects; and also the effects of its physical and sensual indulgences, as well as those sensual desires itself. In Hindu and Buddhist mythology, these souls in purgatory are called Pretas, or "hungry ghosts." Until the astral form has reached the required degree of purification, the soul would find it uncomfortable to live anywhere else in the astral plane. Purgatory is said to resemble the earth plane's slums and ghetto areas.

The author of this paper once had an interesting experience in one of the lower astral regions in which he was directed to counsel souls who were kleptomaniacs. Although not informed as to the nature of the inhabitants of the realm, certain events such as personal objects carried on our astral person at that time which was suddenly amiss made us realize the common problem of those souls living there. Those souls were stuck in purgatory because of their thieving tendencies, and we were there to help them realize and give up their negative habit. Bad habits and desires follow us in the afterlife and they cause us intense suffering--the result of being unable to completely satiate, gratify, or fulfill them. It is for this reason that negative habits and desires should be extinguished, or at least transmuted in the here and now, in the physical plane. Before entering purgatory, a soul may be given a glimpse of the astral heavens so as to awaken its aspirations, its desires to improve its condition and soul-estate. When the soul is dissatisfied with mundane and carnal things in the lower astral and when it aspires for something better, it commences to purify its astral body of the lower particles, and suddenly it finds itself within a higher sphere.

Souls that are psychologically unsound or mentally and emotionally disturbed are brought to healing centers in purgatory for the restoration of harmony among their soul-vehicles. Souls with crystallized minds and are mentally imprisoned by preconceived ideas concerning life after death are likewise brought to healing centers for de-hypnotization, or rehabilitation. Souls that led violent lives fall into suspended animation for a lengthy period of time. This enforced unconsciousness is therapeutic in nature, it is a period of soul-healing. These souls are awakened from time to time to determine its attitude--whether it feels guilt or repents of its negative deeds. If not, it is once again tranquilized.

When ignorant of the existence of the higher spheres, souls in purgatory and in the hell regions are often shown, by guiding souls, of the splendour and glory of the upper regions of the astral and mental worlds. Souls are no more intelligent or knowledgeable in the astral as they were in the physical. Ignorance in the physical concerning Truth and Reality are brought along with them in the discarnate state. Opinions are maintained. Souls, therefore, see and experience what they have learnt to believe. Such "lost souls" are shown the way of ascension to the higher worlds.

The astral body is plastic-like in nature and it normally reflects the nature of the soul within. Souls with negative tendencies and evil traits assume forms with facial features reflective of its nature. They may take on the appearance of misshapen, grotesque, and monstrous forms. Conversely, souls with positive, clean, and pure natures take on angelic forms. The higher the quality and nature of the soul, the more beautiful and scintillating its appearance. Even the clothings worn by souls reflects the inner state. Referring to this principle Swedenborg declares:

". . . all the interior affections appear and shine forth from the face." (1958:22)

He also relates the mystery of soul-appearance of evil persons:

". . . and wonderful to tell, those in hell appear to one another as men, but in the light of heaven they appear as monsters, horrid in face and body, the exact form of their own evil." (1958:66)

Among Chinese and Tibetan beliefs is that souls could reincarnate as animals. Considering the principle mentioned above, we can come to appreciate some truth in this concept. Men with animal characteristics do reflect their animal nature in their astral-forms.

Through death the mind retains the same personality, habits, traits, character and inclinations, and this is known through one's appearance. It is through the facial appearance, the quality of the clothings worn, and the luminosity and colours of the aura of the soul that the degree of evolution of the soul may be determined. Some beings are so radiant, that it hurts to look at them. We would probably shield our eyes with our hands to protect our sight from the glare--this gesture could almost be interpreted as a salute--a sign of honor and respect to those beings. These souls are bearers of Light, Life and Love. Their presence heals and vitalizes the younger souls. Overthere, in the astral and mental worlds, everyone sees us for what we really are, including ourselves. Though we may be "somebody" in the physical world, in the astral worlds we may be just another "person." In the higher worlds, our true character stands revealed. There is nothing of our private thoughts, feelings and character that we can hide. We are an opened book that reveals our inner selves to others around us. Again quoting Swedenborg:

". . . an angel who excels in wisdom instantly sees the quality of another from his face." (1958:22)

Only virtues, good thoughts, deeds, and a search for Truth confers beauty of appearance. In the higher worlds we will discover the fact that thoughts are things. What we think manifests and affects us almost immediately without any time interval.

Those with pre-conceptions regarding heaven, such as religious devotees, will experience the type of heaven of their expectations. These various heavenly conditions, however, are illusions. They exist temporarily as dramas played on the behalf of the newly-arrived soul for the purpose of teaching spiritual lessons, such as the errors of pre-conceived ideas. The dramas are sometimes played by negative beings with non-benevolent motive. These dramas last until the soul awakens to the fact that its concept of heaven as experienced, hardly reflects the true reality, state, and nature of the mansions of the Cosmos; or conversely, it could entrap him even further. The former condition is brought home when certain events occur in their personal "heaven" which indicates the artificiality of their paradise. For instance, a soul conceiving heaven to be one where its inhabitants wear wings and halos, and play on the harp and sing hymns for all eternity will experience just that . . . until ennui sets in, and voices begin to get hoarse, and harp strings begins to burst, and halos begin to fall, and wings begin to molt . . . In reference to these dramas in the astral dimensions, Torkom Saraydarian comments in The Science of Meditation:

"Once you enter into it, you see that many colorful events are rapidly forming and dissolving according to your unnamed urges, aspirations, thoughts, and volitions, which are in continuous change and motion and in various intensities. All you see is the response of your astral substance, which mirrors your desires, urges, dreams, and mental modifications. The comic part of this is that you do not realize that whatever you see or experience is your creation, your own expression, which sometimes becomes the vehicle of astral entities who perform an illusive play or comedy to englamour and trap you even more." (1993:208)

In the various astral and higher planes, the soul occupies some of its time analyzing its past life and the assimilation of its experience. This introspection is often done with the assistance of spiritual guides and group discussions. In the heavenly worlds the soul finds time to do and to learn the things that it always wanted to without being bothered by the necessities of earning a daily living. There are Halls of Wisdom and Temples of Learning in all branches of the arts and sciences, including the science of creation. In these schools the soul learns the purpose of life, the laws of the spiritual planes and how it may function effectively therein in its higher vehicles. The potential and expressions of one's creativity are also taught. Generally, the average soul will spend its time studying and serving others, with intervals of relaxation and play.

In the astral state one discovers that it is unnecessary to eat or to drink to nourish the astral form. Nourishment occurs through spiritual osmosis. The astral form automatically absorbs the life-giving energy-fluid flowing through the astral ethers. This could be done physically as well, but it requires intense spiritual training to reach this level. Streams and fountains of energy are to be found in the higher heavens. Muslims call them Salsabil. A dip in them also vitalizes the whole spiritual constitution.

There are several modes of locomotion available to the inhabitants of the heavenly worlds. There are vehicles to convey one from place to place. One may also choose to walk or to use the astral body's innate capability to fly. This latter mode of travel requires some mastery though, however, once mastered, it offers one of the most convenient methods of mobilization. Once settled in the higher astral, the soul does not possess the ability to view or manifest in the earth plane unless it has acquired the occult ability to do so. Generally speaking, it is not possible for the soul to visit the higher worlds beyond its soul-level because of the intense fiery vibrations emanating from those worlds. Journeying to lower worlds, however, is much more easily accomplished.

Communication in the subtle worlds is done mainly through telepathy, although sometimes normal speech is used. The utilization of telepathy means that every soul understands every other soul eventhough in physical terms there may be a language barrier. For instance, through the means of telepathy it is possible for an Englishman to understand an Italian, and vice versa. One also eventually learns to communicate through colours and sounds, these being universal languages. There is, however, a phenomenon that should be noted and expressed clearly by Swedenborg:

". . . the angels of a lower heaven cannot speak with those of a higher heaven. In fact when they look towards them, they do not see them, the higher heavens appearing like a mist over their heads. Angels of a higher heaven, however, can see those in a lower heaven . . ." (1958:100)

Copyright © 2006 Luxamore

The Metaphysical View of Death and Life After Death Part 1

Humanity throughout the ages have seen death as something loathsome and gruesome; something dreadful, something preferable to avoid at all cost--that is, if a choice were given--but without any other option, are forced to succumb for lack of any power over its occurrence. Anticipating the termination of life at an unexpected moment and the possible prospect of annihilation of self-identity, humanity views death as a state or condition to be feared. This fear is sustained when all around, most of the dying are seen to seemingly suffer in anguish and in agony in the death process. The fear of death is actually man's fear of the unknown, and it indicates man's bondage to his ignorance which ultimately grows into superstitious expressions. Because of the underlying fear, man attempts laboriously to postpone death through medicine and other means; medical science has, however, not yet found a way to prolong life indefinitely--or to ease one's fears, to offer solace, or to answer profound questions regarding this ancient mystery. Knowing the true nature of death releases man from his bondage to his fears and to the clinging of his varied superstitions pertaining to it. Such knowledge based upon personal experience may be acquired--beliefs to the contrary places an illusory boundary upon the unfolding soul. Alice Bailey, writing for the Tibetan in "A Treatise on White Magic," refers to man's fears regarding death:

"The mind of man is so little developed that fear of the unknown, terrors of the unfamiliar, and attachment to form have brought a situation where one of the most beneficent occurrences in the life cycle of an incarnating Son of God is looked upon as something to be avoided and postponed for as long a time as possible." (1972:494)

We can see from her statement that one of the factors that causes man to struggle against death, is the attachment to form. The identification of the Self with the physical form misleads one into thinking that the dissolution of the physical body results in the annihilation of the Self. Sri Sankaracharya, the eminent exponent of Advaita Vedanta, taught that the deluded mind with its beliefs in the reality of form causes bondage to Maya, or Cosmic Illusion. Philosophically speaking, this is the state of duality, and unless man perceives the One Reality underlying the dualistic worlds, and as his true nature, he lives in fear and in a state of slavery. What is Real cannot be destroyed, what is unreal does not exist apart from our false perception and understanding. This is avidya, or ignorance. To apprehend the true state of things is to be truly liberated from death. One's consciousness is expanded and raised to a divine estate when Reality is known and death seen for what it really is. What Bailey does not mention is that the soul-process of "death" may be experienced in the meditative state. Mystics call this "dying while living," and advanced mystics have reached a state where they may predetermine and trigger the time and process of their physical and mystical deaths--these are executed with divine permission. Mystical deaths offers one the opportunity to acquire the beautific vision called Marifatullah by Islamic gnostics. We will not dwell on this mystical aspect in this paper but focus more on the physical side of death and dying.

Before continuing further, let us first provide a definition of the branch of study dealing with death. The study is properly termed, "Thanatology" (from Greek thanatos, "death"). The Encyclopedia Britannica explains it thus:

". . . the description or study of death and dying and the psychological mechanisms of dealing with them. Thanatology is concerned with the notion of death as popularly perceived and especially with the reactions of the dying, from whom it is felt much can be learned about dealing with death's approach . . . Generally, psychologists have agreed that there are two overall concepts concerning death that help in understanding the simultaneous processes of living and dying. The "my death versus your death" concept emphasizes the irrational belief that while "your death" is a certainty, an exemption may be made in "my case." The second concept, "partial deaths versus total extinction" stresses the belief that by experiencing the bereavement following the deaths of friends and relatives, a person is brought as close as possible to realizing "partial death." These experiences colour the individual's attitude toward greater personal losses, culminating with the ultimate loss, life itself.

"Thanatology also examines attitudes toward death, the meaning and behaviours of bereavement and grief, and the moral and ethical questions of euthanasia, organ transplants, and life support."

Thanatology deals with death from various perspectives, from the cultural and anthropological standpoint, the clinical, biological, religious, metaphysical, etc. Death itself is defined in dictionaries as "an extinction of life," the "ceasing to be."

Ordinarily, the average person would avoid talking or thinking about death. When chosen as a topic for discussion, for instance, the subject is frequently and promptly relegated to the background of life's many "evil" necessities and often spoken in hushed tones. Death has always been a taboo subject in unenlightened social circles. Man's present negative attitude and understanding of the nature of death may cause self-inflicted suffering, torment, and pain. Man's lack of understanding of the truth of death is mainly the result of a deficiency in the knowledge of spiritual verities, and in an absence of spiritual awareness. Religious doctrines and materialistically-oriented educational systems have inadvertently encouraged man's negative attitude towards death. They paint horrible conditions of the after-death state, ranging from eternal punishment and torture in fashions exceeding the cruelties and atrocities of the Inquisition, to the materialistic view of nihilism and annihilation. Religion and the academic institutions offer no real comfort or solace to those whose loved ones have faced the great change. The only recourse for individuals seeking a greater understanding of death is by acquiring metaphysical knowledge concerning its nature and by developing a greater awareness of multi-dimensional life; for life simply is, it cannot cease to be. Life is Real and eternal for it is not compounded. Forms are compounded, therefore, they are evanescent. Clinging and being attached to what is temporal, and from the point of view of the Absolute as "illusory," makes one often feel threatened to life's varied circumstances.

In order to be relieved from suffering in the form of bereavement and anguish, humanity as a whole would have to be re-educated as to the true nature of death, its value, its process, and regarding the state of life after the great transition. One's frame of reference for personal existence has to be expanded to include multi-dimensional worlds, to one's immortal aspect, and not circumscribed to physical matter. Concomitant to this cleansing process of the mind of its false beliefs and notions concerning death--both the result of social conditioning and brainwashing--there should also be a search, an investigation into the true purpose of life. For to pass through transition not knowing the purpose of one's personal existence is to have lived in vain. It is said that to die well we must first learn to live well, and this is true, for our negative karma and our wrong attitudes and apprehension of death causally leads us to pain and suffering in the bardo, the death process--of which we will deal in later chapters. For this reason it is incumbent upon us all to embark upon the study of thanatology--the science of death, as understood by metaphysics, to live a worthwhile life, to relieve the sense of suffering, and to efface our misgivings regarding death and the after-death state. Death is simply a transformation, a process analogous to a caterpillar-turned-butterfly through metamorphosis.

Our "fate" and experiences in the afterlife and in the death process are both determined largely by our karma, beliefs, knowledge (or lack of it), purity, righteousness, and understanding of the mission and purpose of our sojourn in the physical plane. Life in this physical dimension should be seen as an opportunity to mature and to liberate oneself from all mortal restrictions even though functioning through an organic vessel. Some people experiencing the vicissitudes and hardships of life often complain that it was not their wish to be born, implying that it was not their wish to live or to be here in this physical world, and yet, in this they contradict themselves by expressing a fear of death, saying that they do not wish to die--implying that they wish to live. Such inconsistencies reflect the state of non-awareness of spiritual realities and verities. Death should be perceived as an initiation into the higher mysteries of Nature. It is thus one of the most important events in one's spiritual journey. Mastery of one's life, of one's lower self, and service to the Higher Intelligences, is the wise preparation for this great initiatory experience.

In ancient cultures, the existence of the afterlife was taken for granted. In former eras there have been concepts or beliefs in the afterlife such as the "Happy Hunting Grounds" "Olympus" and the "Elysian Fields." The spiritual instincts of early and modern man have always rebelled against the idea of death, and rightly so, for death in reality is non-existent, but the average person is normally unaware and ignorant of this truth, or he chooses to ignore it for some unknown reason. Death should not be looked upon as an ultimate chapter or conclusion of one's life, for death is simply a change, a passing, a transition to a different plane of consciousness, a different dimensional activity. Orthodox, or conservative scientists in conformity with Einstein's equation, "E=mc2," tell us that nothing in the universe can be destroyed, that there can only be a transformation, a change or conversion of the patterns of energy-fields; this is the economy of life which is acknowledged as a law of the Cosmos; and yet, although furnished with this scientific theorem and understanding, these same scientists are skeptical concerning the survival of the personal consciousness or "awareness-principle," as Tibetan Buddhists designate it. Mainstream science, although faced with many positive data concerning the survival of the consciousness acquired by researchers in the paranormal and related fields, still express incredulity as to its reality. Why is it that the life-force, soul, and consciousness are not seen by these scientists as energy-fields, just as all objects down to their minuscule component, the electrons, protons and neutrons are known to be such? More succinctly, why do scientists not recognize the soul? Is it, perhaps, because of the unconscious opposition and antagonism towards Religion that has long persecuted Science in the centuries past? From the occult point of view, group minds form living entities or currents of energy with certain qualities in accord with the thoughts and feelings generated by the originators or individuals of the same group-mind. This is called an egregore. Such egregores may have an indefinite life span, living for centuries, and influencing all that comes within its mental and emotional force fields. It is through these egregores that an individual, a scientist, for instance, living in the distant past may influence a scientist living in the present. Prejudicial feelings toward Religion and its tenets, such as its declaration of the living soul that survives the dissolution of the physical body, may therefore, be carried from the past to the present. As can be understood from the above, the antagonism of scientists may not be truly directed to the concept of the afterlife, or soul-survival, but towards religion as a whole, and this discord is an unconscious feeling--the result of centuries of maltreatment in the hands of Religion--executed in the name of the Almighty.

Investigators and exponents of mainstream science, however, have not proved in their laboratories the cessation of life, and the non-survival of consciousness after death. On the contrary, they are very close to discovering and proving its reality and validity. It would seem that the Veil of Isis is thinning; nevertheless, the question of the survival of consciousness, we feel, can only be satisfactorily and adequately answered to us by personal experience--through phenomena such as NDEs (Near Death Experience) and the projection of one's consciousness and subtle bodies. Without personal experience there would be an element of doubt, the truth would elude our comprehension, and the false delude our understanding. Knowledge pertaining to the the truth of death eliminates fear, pain and sorrow. When one understands the nature and mechanism of life and death, one begins to lead a philosophical and mystical life, open to spiritual verities and impressions. One commences to live in harmony with the forces and laws of Nature, in accord with the purposes of the Divine Plan. Scientists would have to become philosophers and mystics in order to break through any bias constraining their minds from the truth of life after death.

It is a fallacy to think that the nature of death and the afterlife state cannot be known while one is embodied and functioning in the three-dimensional sphere. Religious fundamentalism, in general, would have us believe this. Man dies temporarily every night during the sleep-state, and he calls his activities during such a state as "dreams." Man practices death every time he enters the delta-theta state. Poor recollection of one's nocturnal activities results in an inadequate comprehension of the nature and relationship between sleep and death. Spiritual development improves the recollection of astral activities and the awareness of the "no-dream" state. Refinement of the soul disperses the etheric web at the crown chakra and forms a link between the brain and higher mind allowing for free movement of the personal-consciousness to higher dimensions without a break in awareness. Fundamentally, the only difference between death and the sleep-state is that death is the permanent evacuation of the awareness-principle from the physical body, whereas in sleep it is merely a temporary condition. In death the sutratma, or silver cord, snaps, and the personal-consciousness leaves the physical body to disintegrate and return to the ground from whence it came. In the sleep state, this cord which connects the physical body to the subtle bodies is maintained. Essentially, death is an illusion. Death is actually an interval between two states or planes of consciousness. It eventuates in the return of every component of the microcosm to its proper place. This truth is embodied in the poetic verse of Ovid:

"Four things of man there are: spirit, soul, ghost, flesh;

"These four, four places keep and do possess,

"The earth covers flesh, the ghost hovers o'er the grave,

"Orcus has the soul, stars do the spirit crave."

Man has the divine ability to be aware of his being as existing independently of the physical vehicle. This is accomplished in what has come to be called lucid dreaming and astral projection, or "OBE" (out-of-the-body experience) as a modern designation for the phenomenon. Like St. Paul, it is possible for all of us to say that we "knew a man who went to the third heaven," and hear of things not suitable for the non-initiate. Death is a change of focus of our consciousness, from one plane to another. This is also accomplished through the above means. Astral projection is an ability that all metaphysicians should seek to acquire--for it is educational and it opens-up avenues of services that one may render. Most, if not all mystical traditions teach of this occult ability. The practitioner of Taoist Yoga, for instance, learns in the course of his studies how to separate the soul and spirit from the physical body. Advance mystics and occultists are all able to function in full awareness in the physical, astral and mental worlds. Such individuals are not concerned with the arguments of materialists--arguments stating the non-survival of self, for every mystic knows the truth of the matter through personal experience.

Dying, to the initiate, is a science and an art. The technique of death is known to the inter-dimensional consciousness-traveller. The psychonaut is familiar with the many phases of the bardo that leads to one of the "six realms," or to liberation from the cycle of reincarnation. It is the reality of reincarnation that proves to us that we are no stranger to death. We incarnate and pass through the change of death repeatedly until we emancipate ourselves from the wheel of birth and rebirth. We have all met the angel of death countless times and shall meet that specter once again in the future. All religions refer to this life-death cycle, though some metaphorically.

Every metaphysician should be familiar with the subject of death, as understood in the esoteric sense, and as to its occult process. In the course of one's metaphysical ministry, one would often meet individuals suffering from anguish and bereavement. The metaphysician should be able to offer the kind of solace that goes beyond the service of the burial ceremony and the pronouncement of the words, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust . . ." To the dying, and those newly passed-on, the advanced metaphysician should act as a guide to the inner levels of being. He should play the role of Anubis, guiding the departed soul to its proper place. This should be an integral part to any last rites or sacraments given. There is much superstition, fear and ignorance regarding the nature of death among the masses. It, therefore, behooves the metaphysical counselor to play his or her part in enlightening society; and this ministration would benefit humanity as a whole. We feel that this paper should be written to remind metaphysicians of the importance of conveying the truths to the masses regarding the continuity of life, personal identity, and consciousness. One's professional image is enhanced when well-equipped with the requisite knowledge. Even though much has been written on the subject of death, with much invaluable information given, we take this opportunity to add some of our own insights and experiences to enrich the existing literature and the storehouse of humanity's learning.

Copyright © 2006 Luxamore

Why do Pretty Girls CRY?

As you can see this is going to be a very controversial article. Hey, I never, ever have anything but, controversial thoughts. what can I say? I was born this way. BITE ME!

Anyway, as I was drying my hair, my brain started to work. (scary!!) I was thinking about a few comments that I had heard from guys here and there regarding, "Why Pretty Girls Cry". Of course I had to question them in order to get them to reveal their thoughts on the subject. I asked them a simple question- "Do you think that women that are pretty dislike other pretty women?" Hmmm, I received a lot of answers immediately, without any thought, seemingly. The answer that was the most popular was.."NO!!" I know so many women that are beautiful and the last thing that they would think about theirself, is exactly that. They cannot see what we see in them at all. They think every other women in the world has more to offer.

My next question was, do you think that women constantly compare themselves to other woman? This question took no time at all for them to answer. "Yes and no, They think that we (men) are comparing them to other women. And that's what gets them all weird". Additionally, "They think that we are lusting after them in our minds or wondering what they would look like naked. They compare themselves with other women, yes, but in more of a way to improve themselves for us. My girlfriend compares herself with women that do not even come close to her on a any scale and still finds reason to knock herself down".

Hmmm, I seem to be saying that a few times, but it's because women are so generalized. If one women is one way with one guy, he thinks all women are like that. When women generalize men, they call us male bashers, or feminists. What do we call guys that generalize us from their past experiences?

So whats up with the fact that pretty girls really do not look at themselves as pretty girls? Is it something from their past?. (seems like the age old excuse for everything)

I, myself remember a guy asking me that exact question. "Why do all the pretty girls think they are ugly?". I shrugged. I really had no answer. I never put myself on that level, of being pretty that is.

In all the research that I have been doing on this subject, I will tell you this, `beauty is in the eyes of the beholder`, nothing more, nothing less. If we look in the mirror and see no beauty, that is in our minds only. Not in our partners minds or a strangers mind. We are constantly supported by our spouses and we constantly mistrust their comments. Why? When are we going to start to see ourselves as a beautiful being? A UNIQUE being. A one and only being.

Ladies when you cross paths with another that you feel is way above you, for whatever reason, shoes, hair, dress, body, or just her smile, think this; she is also looking at you and seeing something in you that she lacks and would love to have.

Also, it's part of us, built into us, and born with it in our brain to compare.

Some will look for weakness or flaws in others just to make themselves feel good. That is a negative comparison. It is not a bad thing to want to be a better person. We just have to be very careful to not take it to an extreme that blinds others to our thoughts and intentions.

Men tend to automatically call us jealous when we reveal our thoughts, if another women is involved. Another mystery in my mind; Jeesh, we are not always that worried, OK. So get off your ego trip guys. Sometimes we are genuinely curious as to why we see and feel the vibes we get from you. Also as you read earlier, just maybe, we care and we want to improve ourselves. Maybe men should try and do that sometime. Then they will actually see where we are coming from.

Another thing I have noticed is that men are very good at making us believe that we are doing what they say. Why is that? Is it to win an argument and feel totally in control of our thoughts or is it that they themselves feel vulnerable at times and less than perfect to us. Men have told me that they do not look at other men and wish they were like them. Well duh! Would that not make them female? Why does everyone try so hard to give excuses to genders?. Why can't we just accept and appreciate each other for our differences? Why do we have to be so damn equal on everything?

Females are soft, sensual, sensitive, emotional, passionate, intelligent creatures. That's us, and we are tired of apologizing for how we were born. We work overtime trying to understand our male counterparts. We are what makes them tick. They are what make us tick. We want nothing more than to be their everything. What is so wrong with that? Men are strong, protective, sexual, and feeling beings.

Men and women together make a very nice song.

These are just my thoughts as you all know, so take them with a grain of salt. Has society totally confused what real people are all about, to the point that some do not even know they are pretty? That is a sad thought. Some may think that I have nothing good to say. Well I actually have a lot of good to say. I wish that life was a perfect world. It is not even close. My thoughts tend to deal with the real world and it is not all that great for some. One can not go up until they have gone all the way down.

We are all pretty in some ways. People think way to much about the outer physical appearance and I wish that I could meet the first person that started that negative seed. When did things get so out of proportion?

There are too many worries and too many unhappy women out there. If I can at least help one woman see how pretty she is, then my course is set. Ladies we are all a gift, one that is truly cherished by our loved ones. Never let that go neglected. Remember, you choose your thoughts. You are the pretty girl that your man wants, desires, and will spend the rest of his life with. It's who we are that makes us the perfect woman. Not just what we look like, because we are not always going to look the same. Everyone grows older and everyone changes their outward appearance. What does stay the same, is who we are inside. Our REAL person is what it's all about. I will end with this thought:

ONE ALWAYS THINKS OTHERS ARE HAPPIER!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

How to Concentrate in 4 Magic Steps

One of the main problems that deter a person's success is their lack of concentration. Lapses encourage disturbances to get in the way and stall progress. If ones wishes to proceed on their road to success, it is imperative they learn how to concentrate. Here, we show you some easy to learn exercises that are easy to implement.

1) Silence or Noise:
Most people cannot concentrate when it is too noisy, but others work better with music or others in the midst of a crowded room. If you are not aware as yet what best suits you, then try out the different environments. How? Take a notepad and a pencil or pen with you and try and write down a letter in all the three circumstances in a set amount of time. Ten minutes. That is all you will need to determine where your source of concentration lies. How? Check not only for length but also for development as that is more important.

2) Focal Point:
Every morning, before you leave for work or on the way, stare at any object for ten minutes. You can do this while in the toilet, car or bus. You will find this difficult, but whatever happens, do not move your gaze away. Hold it. Wait. And then, as the minutes pass you will find yourself deeply meditating about things that happened to you yesterday or challenges you have to face in a few minutes. Congratulations. You have just conquered the art of meditation.

3) Deep Breathing:
In the beginning, you can do this while staring at the object from tip number two, but if you wish to move towards real concentration, do this separetly. Sit down on the floor. If its hard, place a cushion. Close your eyes. Breathe. Count the number of inhales. When you have reached 100, start counting backwards but this time count the exhales. Mastering this will take you a while, but once you do move on to other kinds of mathemathical calculations such as naming the months of the year from December backwards or alphabetically. After that, make up exercises as you like.

4) Movement:
Focus on an animal: cat, dog or even ant or bird. Follow their every movement as if they exist in a vaccumm. Study every tiny spot on their body. The point of this is to learn how to diversify your concentration in such a way that movement does not deter you from your goal.

Conclusion:
Practice the above four tips and like magic, you will start enjoying life to its fullest because you will be able to focus on the things you want to focus on and disregard those that disrupt. Practive the above tips daily and you will be that much more closer to achieving your dreams and goals. Best of Luck!