Selasa, 31 Juli 2012
5 Reasons Not to Read Online Dating Advice
What a strange title for an article, I write online dating advice so why would I encourage people not to read it?
Clearly I believe there is some good dating advice on the internet or I wouldn't waste my time writing dating advice and tips but I want people to think about what they are reading and who the author is before they take anything they read as gospel.
Here are 5 things to carefully consider before you take the advice of dating "experts".
1. Everything written is an opinion from someone with a given history. Just google "article writing+fee" and see how many people in countries like India offer to write articles for website owners for a fee. India is simply one example but life there is somewhat different on the dating scene and their knowledge may well come from watching re-runs of Baywatch and Dallas. Check who is writing the website content, do their articles all sound as though they are written by the same person, are they writing from a personal perspective and if so what is their dating history?
2. The words "expert" and "guru" are over-used and I rarely read advice from anyone calling themselves either. What qualifies someone as an expert at dating? If they have been constantly dating for 30 years then they either have commitment issues or are very bad at dating. Just take Dr Phil, would I read his advice on how to have a long and happy marriage? Absolutely but would I read his advice on dating in your 40's in 2008? What does he really know about the current dating scene, he isn't dating.
3. Dating advice that includes comments like "I can make you attractive to men/women even if you are fat and ugly". Would you go into a clothes shop and accept advice from a shop assistant that called you fat and ugly? I doubt it, so why would you accept being insulted simply because it's online. False promises of making you attractive to the opposite sex rely on your lack of confidence in order to get you to buy their book or video or whatever they are selling. Take advice from people that respect who you are and aren't desperately trying to sell you something.
4. Beware of the bitter and twisted. Blogging is a platform for many types of people but that includes those that simply want to rant about their bad experiences. There are many dating blogs that simply catalogue a serious of disastrous dates, call men names and generalise about the opposite sex, particularly written by women in their 40's but I have yet to read one that stops and asks herself if perhaps she is the problem. Avoid these blogs, they usually have no real constructive advice to offer.
5. The ones that state "I am the same as you so my advice is best for you". Don't just read advice from people of the same age, gender and situation, much can be learned from reading the thoughts of the opposite sex and older people that have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. If you are recently divorced then don't read advice by someone who is also recently divorced and trying to date again, find a writer that has been divorced, began dating again and is now in a long term relationship they have the experience you want to hear about.